The Eternals: A Wee Bit Slow

********* There be spoilers here. You have been warned. ************

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The Eternals has a lot to set up. It is the movie that introduces the next level or Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It also introduces a boatload of characters. There are ten Earth Eternals to start. Ready? Too Bad. They are Thena, weapons warrior (Angelina Jolie); Ikarus, all-powerful (Richard Madden); Sersi, matter shifter (Gemma Chan); Ajak, leader and healer (Salma Hayek); Gilgamesh, physical fighter and strongest (Don Lee); Druig, mind control (Barry Keoghan); Kingo, projectiles (Kumail Nanjiani); Sprite, trickster (Lia McHugh); Makkari, speedster (Lauren Ridloff); and Phastos, engineer and weapons specialist (Brian Tyree Henry). Now you know.

In addition to these 10, there are the Celestials and Sersi’s boyfriend Dane Whitman (Kit Harington) who is destined to become the Black Knight. There is the comic relief and Kingo's human sidekick, Karun (Harish Patel). There are also two characters Pip the Troll (Patton Oswald) and Eros of Titan or Starfox (Harry Styles) who is Thanos younger brother introduced in the mid-credits, and the voice of the new Blade (Mahershala Ali) in the final after-credits scene There, now you know and have a handy reference guide.

I hate lists, but it had to be done.

I don't know much about the Eternals in the comics. I do know, from my brief research on the web, is that three of the male characters from the comics have been gender-swapped, the comics were created by Jack Kirby who along with Stan Lee created the Fantastic Four, X-Men, Thor, the Hulk, and Ironman. He then moved over to DC and while most of his creations there were largely unsuccessful, one of the villains he created became a mainstay of DC, Darkseid. There is actually little known about the Kingo character except in the comics he is a master swordsman. Now you know what I know of the comics.

On to the Plot…

The Celestials, god-like beings that created and continue to create worlds and civilizations, have sent the Eternals to a number of worlds to battle the evil enemies of life, the Deviants. Having defeated these creatures, the Eternals continue to live on the planet to protect it from further attacks of the Deviants. Other than that, Eternals are forbidden to interfere in all other conflicts which is a handy way to explain why they didn’t interfere when Thanos wiped out half the universe. Earth’s Eternals have been here for thousands of years. Even though they can die in battle or of unnatural causes, they are still called Eternals probably since Sorta Eternals just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

On modern-day Earth, the Deviants have returned and one of them kills the Eternals’ leader Ajak. The Eternals must reunite to fight these new Deviants. Ajak has chosen Sersi as her successor by sending the orb that allows her to communicate with her Celestial, Arishem. What Ajak has kept a secret is that Earth is the home to one of the Celestial seeds which will eventually, once Earth reaches enough thinking humans to power it, emerge as a new Celestial. This will, of course, destroy the Earth and kill everyone. So, the Eternals, because they love the uniqueness of Earth, decide they must stop this emergence of a new Celestial, while they continue to fight the Deviants. There are some other twists, turns, and deaths along the way. It also marks the appearance of two special superheroes. One is a member of the LGBQ+ community, and the other has a physical handicap.

And now the review…

The problem with the movie is pacing. While the movie has some great action sequences and some really funny gags like Karun’s ever-smaller cameras and the hint that twinkies have been stored on the ship for perhaps centuries, it tends to plod. It just doesn’t have the bounce that most Marvel films have.

I am pretty willing to forgive the movie an excuse for the slower pace. They do have a great deal for the audience to understand. Unlike the first phase of the Marvel movies, they could take their time to build individuals of the Avengers. The Eternals are not individual superheroes. All exist as a single group so the approach to this introduction to phase 2 had to deal with having all these characters at once. This makes it very difficult for the audience to connect to individual characters like they had with Ironman or Thor. Audience members though may still find connections with characters whose tender protection of others like Gilgamesh or Phastos, or they may enjoy the humor of Kingo and his alter ego Bollywood lifestyle. Still, the movie needs better pacing to hold the audience’s attention.

I liked The Eternals well enough. While it does not have the strength of other Marvel films, it does set up the next phase which will probably include a more “space” oriented theme. Even the credit scenes add direct connections to the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise with the appearance of characters like Pip the Troll and Starfox both of whom have been known to hang in the Guardians’ universe in the comics as well as the introduction of the Black Knight and Blade who are also being added to the MCU in Phase 2. The next three scheduled Marvel films should be solid enough since they are all relying on established characters like Doctor Strange, Antman, and Guardians, as well as Spiderman. Hopefully, Eternals II if there is one, will be able to fix the problems now that the audience is set up for it. 

Hey! It's Bond...James Bond

 Okay, I have not blogged in quite some time, but a few... very few... okay, one has asked for the occasional blog and my occasional opinion of various things esp. movies, and tv. So, I will do a modicum of blogs, and the first in quite a while, as requested by a few... very few...okay one,  is No Time to Die the latest addition to the James Bond, 007 franchise. 

***What follows will have a few spoilers or maybe several spoilers. You have been warned.***

The plot of No Time to Die is a typical Bond movie plot. An evil madman Lyutsifer Safin, played by Rami Malek, has stolen what was supposed to be the perfect assassin nanobot virus. The virus was created by the short-sighted off-the-books orders of M (Ralph Fiennes). Bond is brought back from his retirement by CIA buddy Felix Leiter (Jeffrey Wright) to recapture the scientist Valdo Obruchev (David Dencik). On his quest to stop the now corrupted nanobot virus, Bond fights Safin's henchman Primo "Cyclops" (Dali Benssalah) aided by the lovely and deadly Paloma (Ana de Armas) and his replacement 007 Nomi (Lashana Lynch). Bond must do all this while protecting the love of his life Madeline (Léa Seydoux) and her daughter, Mathilda.

  No Time to Die is Daniel Craig's last outing as Ian Fleming's James Bond, 007. I for one will be sad to see him go. Description-wise, Craig is actually pretty far from Ian Fleming's original description of the British super spy. According to Wikipedia, Flemming described Bond: "slim build; a 3 in (76 mm) long, thin vertical scar on his right cheek; blue-grey eyes; a "cruel" mouth; short, black hair, a comma of which rests on his forehead. Bond frequently dressed as Fleming would've in such as short sleeve shirts and suit coats. Bond was a hard drinker and seemed "cold" and cruel. These traits were, however, traits that Craig incorporated into his Bond. So despite his physical difference from Bond, his character's behavior seems to be accurate. We also know that Fleming was influenced by the actors who played Bond. After Sean Connery became Bond, Flemming introduced a Scottish father for Bond in Doctor No, which was the first novel written after Connery's introduction. I must also admit that I would be hard-pressed to choose whether Connery or Craig was my favorite portrayal of the spy. 

So we come to the last time Daniel Craig will play Bond, No Time to Die. I wish I could say that this was the best of the Craig Bonds, but it isn't. It's still a Bond movie with all the usual tropes of every Bond film. Pretty and deadly women, a strange and mysterious villain, Q's wondrous gadgets, Bond's cars, shaken martinis not stirred, a henchman with a unique feature (this time it's a bionic eye), a traitorous member within his own ranks, and the chases.

While there was no shortage of chases in the movie, the best one comes at the beginning of the movie with Bond taking a wild motorcycle ride and ending with Bond's Gatling-stile guns shooting from his car. Later chase scenes really weren't as creative as the opening and tended to use the same stunt over and over. The chases were still exciting though, just not steadily more creative. 

The premise too was not particularly new. Bond has retired, again. Bond has fallen in love, again. Bond believes he has been betrayed by his new love. Bond is forced back into the life he left behind, again. Most of Bond's former colleagues thought he was dead, again. The twist to all this is that Bond's new love had not betrayed him and still loved him, so after 5 years, Bond must face his greatest foe, a mysterious villain who in one fell swoop arranges the complete destruction of the evil nemesis Spectre, even killing the locked away leader, Blofeld (Christoph Waltz). 

The problems with this movie I have are not just it's lack of originality. After 27 Bond movies, the tropes and formula are pretty well established. When I go to a Bond movie, I know exactly what I will get. My problem is two fold with No Time To Die. 

My first is the Rami Malek villain, Safin. Safin is a very creepy bad guy. Bond villains are almost always driven by two things, greed and/or world domination. Safin is driven by revenge, except the revenge doesn't really make sense beyond a certain point. His entire family was killed by Spectre. By stealing the assassin, Safin uses the technology to kill all of Spectre. This makes does make sense. What doesn't and isn't really explained in the movie is Safin's obsession with with Madeline, who was the daughter of the Spectre agent that killed his family and Safin's deciding to use his technology by corrupting it to wipe out entire groups of people and their families that had nothing to do with the death of his family. The deaths if he succeeds would result in the deaths of millions. There is no motivation for this other than Safin is a psychopath who views the deaths as making him a god and a hero. He then almost escapes only to release Madeline and her daughter Mathilda to return and try to kill Bond who he seems to admire. If that makes sense to you, I'm glad you figured it out. I didn't get it.

My second - and here comes major spoilers - is the death of Bond.  It was bad enough to kill off the first M and then Felix. My concern actually has to do more with the rumors floating around the franchise than the death of an icon that should have NEVER BEEN PERMITED! Bond is Bond. The reason people keep coming to see the movies is James Bond 007 and his adventures. The death is moving and well done a, but it is so very wrong. There is the rumor that the series will be rebooted by making 007 in the next movie a woman and so, Bond had to die as did a number of other staples of the franchise like Felix. I am not saying that a woman cannot play a super spy. I am saying that 007 and James Bond are one and the same thing and killing off an icon so the movies can get a new paint job is wrong. I hope the rumor on this is wrong, but if it does prove to be true, I would be surprised if the franchise would survive such an event. I live in hope that the death of Daniel Craig's Bond is to make room and reboot for a new James Bond.

Did I like the move? Yes. Does it have problems? High points of the movie include Bond having a daughter and a love that isn't killed off. Honestly, I am surprised there aren't a bunch more little Bonds roaming the world. Bond's CIA partner Paloma is an incredibly fun character that I would like to have seen more of her.   I don't think No Time to Die will go down as the best of the Bond movies, but Craig most likely will go down as one of the great Bonds.