Sorry for the length, but I didn't have time to write a short blog.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

There Are Just Some Pictures You Shouldn't Share

I don't know about you, but I do know there are just some pictures you shouldn't share, no matter how proud you are.  I am not talking about pictures that clearly demonstrate you are inebriated or picture of you in less clothes than you should be wearing.  Those kind of pictures go without saying, and if you post them, you get exactly the reputation and possible job loss you deserve.  I am not talking about smooching pictures which clearly demonstrate your maturity level nor am I talking about those profile pictures that make you look like a total moron even though you think you are being incredibly artsy.  Some of those are kinda fun.

No, the pictures to which I am referring are the ones that only you want to see.  I really don't care nor do I particularly want to see ultrasound pictures of your new baby.  Don't get me wrong, I will be thrilled to learn that you are expecting but let me put it this way, for the most part, ultrasounds look pretty much the same as do most fetuses.  I should point out that in most of these pics you can't really tell which is the baby and which is background noise.  They are just slightly more interesting than the X-ray of your ribs.  Okay, maybe more exciting than watching bowling, golf, or poker on TV, but really, they are a black and white or gray scale pictures which means little to anyone but you.  Email them to the grandparents and call it good.

This brings me to the next point. Someone once said that all pregnant women are beautiful.  They have the glow of motherhood about them.  The creation of life is one amazing miracle. That said, however, no one wants to see how big your bare belly has become suddenly appear on their Facebook timeline or in the Twitter feed.  Yes, all pregnant women are beautiful, but that does not mean we want to see you in a bikini or your bare bellied self-portrait taken in the bathroom mirror.  It is the equivalent to the way most men look in a Speedo. If you want folks to see how you're progressing, leave your shirt down.  We will all still get the point.

Would someone please tell me what is the deal with puckered or "pouty" lips.  I first saw it on models.  If these "fish lips" or "duck face" as the YOLO crowd calls them doesn't look good on models, why on earth would you think it looks good, sexy or even remotely anything short of clownish on you?  The other one that is just dopey is the one with your tongue out or where you are pretending to lick the other person in the pic.  Welcome to junior high all over.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

I don't want to see pictures of your wound, bruises, pimples, stitches, or any other boo-boo you have.  I am not your doctor or your parent or a sixth grade buddy who is going to take one look and go, "Ewwwww..gross."  It is and  I don't want to see it anymore than you want to see me digest.

Yes, I want to see all those cute pics of your kids.  Yes, I want to see the snow on your lawn furniture or the wonders of hail in your backyard. While your pictures of empty beer bottles or five gallon drums of popcorn or home brew or stacks of boxes are a bit eclectic, and I don't mind those, even if they are something of a waste of bandwidth.  I do occasionally question the pictures of your first attempt at cordon-bleu which looks vaguely like a fish stick. I know it may have tasted good, but you might want to consider more practice with your camera.

All I am asking is you use a bit of common sense, a rare quality in short supply it seems these days.